How to Raise Your Children

“Play with your children till the age of 7, discipline them till they are 14, watch their behavior till the age of 21, and then give them the freedom to act on their own.”

Befriend them. I mean there is an age when it’s not appropriate to punish them. That’s when they’re still too young.

There are some people who punish their children if they cry at night although they may be two years old.

Play with your children till the age of 7. From 7 to 14 years old, correct their bad behavior.

They should be disciplined for inappropriate or swear words.

After turning 14, teens feel they are old enough.

Neither are they adult and mature enough nor small to be taught easily.

There’s a stressful period of the child’s lives when shopping for clothes.

This stressful period comes after the age of 14.

If treated as adult, they may let you down. They also hate it when treated as children.

Here we should take this advice: “keep an eye on their behavior till the age of 21, and then give them the freedom to act on their own.”

I always believe that in Islamic or Middle Eastern culture,

fathers are disciplined. However, being loved is the most difficult part.

I’d like to stress this fact. In our culture, parents are respectable

The Qur’an and our norms and customs stress this. However, being a good parent meant to be loved and not just respected

when you coming home, for example, is ultimate happiness for them

There are children who feel happy when their parents are not home.

Being at home should bring about happiness and not vice versa.

Some children feel relieved during their parents’ absence.

and others have the same feeling on seeing them.

You should know that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stresses that

goodness at one’s home is the highest degree of goodness

people behave decently outside their home, it’s called “business”

They smile, bow and shake hands for the sake of their position

At home there are no such constraints

They may be decent outside home and wicked inside.

So, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family”.

He also said, “Be kind to women. By Allah, it is only the generous in character who is good to women, and only the evil one who insults them.”

The perfect home is where love, tolerance, tranquility and caring for children are found.

I am not talking about money at all. It may be a 60 square meter home with very modest furniture and lifestyle

However, there is love in it. On the other hand, the family may live in a luxurious 400 square meter home and you can’t stand the hatred and spleen in it.

I hope for a house that’s like heaven. You can make it heaven.

There’s a false belief that after a while of marriage

life becomes too boring. We can lead an enjoyable life if there are is love

that continues to grow. Love you make with your hands. The love you spread among the family members.

The best moments are those when parents sit with their children and spend funny times with them.

When parents also ask their children about their school day, or the funniest thing they’ve heard at this day

The problem now is that screens have taken fathers, mothers and even the whole family away from home. The situation is not pleasant. Not at all.

There should be discipline inside our homes, we should spend time together

Once, I gave a talk in Sa’d Mosque about dialogue between parents and children.

Many parents use swear words and give orders without discussion.

However, those parents have social status and they are respectable at home

They are always angry and arbitrary.

Such home or family is corrupt.

The baby who grows up in a loving and caring family receives emotional support and enjoys happy memories.

emotional support …I learnt at university that when a mother breastfeeds her baby unkindly,

”I’m sick of it” the baby learns to be cruel .

Children need love. Once, I noticed two holes in an incubator.

I asked the doctor about the holes and he told me that the baby needed to feel a hand patting him.

The nurse can do this through the holes.

Food, drink and sleep are not the child’s only needs. This is not enough.

A child needs to be hugged, kissed, held and played with.

They like it when they ride on the back of their father.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did something similar.

During prayer, He took a long time bowing down to the ground.

When asked about the reason, Prophet Muhammad said that his grandson Al-Hassan was riding on his back

He said he did not like to disturb him.

Can you do the same thing at home?

If so, there will be no adolescence at our homes at all.

I mean its troubles will definitely be over.

Adolescence is something foreign.

Its troubles are strange to our Islamic culture.

Young men should be taught to control their desires.

There is no deprivation in Islam but everything has its time.

They should learn that every desire found in human’s nature

Allah has made lawful ways to satisfy it.That’s true.

This should encourage lowering the gaze and bring about tranquility inside homes.

Such a family avoids watching hundreds of porn TV channels.

The whole family is disciplined and performs their prayers.

Such a family becomes steadfast in faith.

Their home becomes like heaven.

What does stop our homes from becoming like heavens?

We can achieve this ant it have nothing to do with money

A small house, low income or cheap food doesn’t affect love. Love is everything.

 

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